Three Months Home

It is truly amazing how fast young children adapt to their surroundings.  Ray understands almost everything we say to him and can respond to most things in simple yet understandable English.  He is also very good with directions and knows exactly which roads take him home, to grandparent's houses, to swimming, to shopping, to school, to friend's houses, and more.  I am sure this gives him a sense of comfort in knowing where he is so he can feel safe.  And, as long as we give him enough timely reminders of the day's schedule, he flows through the day without too much complaint.  He has gotten closer to his grandparents and cousins enough to spend a few nights away from us even.  Plus, his eating habits are getting less picky and more open to trying different tastes.  Foods that he wouldn't touch weeks ago he now asks for (tomatoes, oatmeal, beans, etc.) and things that he ate all the time (bologna) he no longer wants.  Perhaps his favorite nighttime book "Green Eggs and Ham" has had something to do with that!

We are finally getting on a regular sleep/wake schedule and discipline is starting to pay off.  Thanks to SuperNanny's advice, the "Naughty Spot" has helped Ray understand that we're only disciplining the behavior and not telling him that he's a bad boy in general.  It gives him time to think about what was done wrong (and hopefully try not to do it again) and sincerely apologize.  Of course, we still have to set him on the spot 10-15 times before he stays put...but we are told that will lessen the more he understands that we will not give in.

Parenting is not getting any easier but is at least a little more predictable.  The hardest thing is to blend different family traditions into one and create our own family dynamic and a unified team.  All our free time and energy seems to be reading every parenting and adoption bonding book out there and discussing what is going right and what is not working and needs improvement.  Too often emotions get in the way of constructive discussions.  Then again, we have to remind ourselves that we're new parents and most people with new babies certainly don't have it all figured out in only three months nor do they have to deal with 8-year-old issues right away.  So we try to move forward on a positive path.

One prayer constantly running through our heads is: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Ray starts 3rd grade on September 7th along with trying Tae Kwon Do at the YMCA.  Scheduling and homework are going to be our next challenges.  Stay tuned!

Ann and Bryan